why you talkin' trash foo?
Thursday, September 10
Wha's cracka lackin' yo? (Me on Halloween, 2008.) Photo by thomasleephoto.com
A year or so ago Oldest Son started talking gangsta (because we’re SO HOOD here in Bozeman, Montana), mostly to sound cool and funny, but also just to bug Shawn and me, which amuses him. He wore baggy jeans with his boxers hanging out, and conversations went like this:
Me: I want you to clean your room. I’ve been telling you to clean it for three days, now. I want it clean tonight.
Oldest Son: I’m with the Wu-Tang Clan.
Me: So?
Oldest Son: So basically, I do whatever I want.
Me: Oh really.
Oldest Son: Yeah, so cleaning my room? That’s not going to work for me.
Me: How come?
Oldest Son: That’s just not how I do.
Me: Well it better be “how you do” tonight.
Oldest Son: Mom, settle down. I’m with the Wu-Tang Clan.
Me: Right. You do whatever you want. I know. But me and my homies want the room clean, Dawg.
Oldest Son: Ummm, don’t ever talk like that again. Kay?
Me: Fo shizzle (flashing a little gang sign).
So I Googled Wu-Tang Clan, and turns out they’re a well-known bunch of rappers (whom my son was apparently affiliated with). They do whatever they want. So just to show Oldest Son that two could play LET’S ME ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF YOU, I started flinging gangsta right back at him.
Guess what? It was like I opened up a can of Gangsta-be-Gone. He was so mortified it took him a while before he spoke to me again. And he started pulling his britches up (a little).
Then on Halloween, I dressed up like a gangsta and even went to work like that. My deskmate, A-Hole, said he found it disturbing how much I looked like a teenage boy. That’s me. Annoying and disturbing males wherever I go. Cause thas how I DO.
Later, homeskillets.
*This post was inspired by prompt #5 on MamaKat’s writer’s workshop, fo sho.
Reader Comments (9)
That is too funny. And, I might add, it's the PERFECT strategy for getting the kids to quit doing that kind of stuff!
Stoppiing by from Mama Kat's.
Funny! Glad I found your blog. It's great. I need to channel my inner mormon mom too and I am a mormon mom. Nothing organized or labeled here. So sad.
Hilarious!! There is nothing as fun as embarrassing a teenager into doing something. It really is one of the few pleasures that we get as moms.
Here from Mama Kat's...You are simply brilliant! Instead of nagging, and making the experience negative, and thus more rebellious, you turn the tables. There is no better lesson than the ones our kids come to on their own...even if it takes some "encouragement and enlightenment" on our part! Way to go mom!
It is disturbing how much you look like a teenage boy. Thought you were oldest son for a second. lol
That was a great way to deal with a teen ---when he saw how ridiculous you looked doing it, it didn't seem so cool anymore. You do look like a teenaged boy in the photo. I used to teach school; at first I thought you were one of my former students.
You can find my response to Mama Kat's writing prompt HERE.
This is hilarious, Megan! Reading your blog is bittersweet. I love it but it reminds me how long it has been since I have seen you guys and how much I miss you!
Isn't it the best to beat them at their own game? Now they know they better not mess with you. Perhaps you can show up at parent-teacher conference in your rapper mom attire if they've been naughty? Pick them up at practice looking like Snoop Dog? I think you have their attention.
P.S. If that picture is accurate (and knowing who took it, no doubt it is) you really could walk into most middle schools in the country and blend right in. . .
Yo diggity dawg. My girls love it when their white bread mama speaks ghetto.
HA! Up here in the hoods of montana, one does what one has to in order to survive. Word.
I tried to get Rob to dress up for Halloween but he said no. ASk him about dressing up for vegeterian day though. tee hee!