careful what you wish for
Monday, July 20 
One of the reasons we bought the “fixer upper” was because the condo we owned was across town from the boys’ schools and friends. I wanted them to live in a part of town where friends could easily drop by. I figured with all of them in middle and high school and becoming more independent, if the boys and their friends were hanging out at our house, then at least I would be the first to know if they were up to something.
One of the first things we did after moving was buy a trampoline, and this year Shawn dug a fire pit and lined it with rocks. I buy lots of snacks and attempt to keep them stocked. As it turns out, the plan has worked like a charm. On any given day you will find hordes of boys at our house eating, dangerously flying through the air and setting things on fire.
Youngest Son (far right) and friends enjoy a sugar buzz around our back yard fire pit.
But it was Oldest Son’s Buddy who recently made me question this whole notion of keeping an eye on the boys by creating a place they all like to hang out. Oldest Son and Shawn were watching a nighttime rerun of The Tour de France (which I call The Bore de France) which they’d already seen that morning, when Oldest Son’s Buddy called.
Oldest Son: “Shawn, Buddy says to tell you that he’s coming over at 6:30 tomorrow morning to watch The Tour with us.”
Shawn: “Tell Buddy we’ll all be asleep then.
Oldest Son on the phone: “Did you hear that? Yeah, we all sleep at that hour, Buddy. Really? Okay. Whatever.”
Oldest Son after hanging up: “Buddy says he’ll be here at 6:30 and that he’s going to wake everyone up.”
Call me crazy, but I knew if Buddy said he was going to show up at the crack of dawn and wake us all to watch The Tour, he’d do it. After all, Buddy is the boy who several summers ago convinced Oldest Son to march downtown with ski goggles, a toilet plunger and a motley assortment of musical instruments with a sign suggesting that passersby pay them to shut up.
And when snowboarders destroyed a jump that he, Oldest Son and a group of friends had painstakingly constructed two winters ago, he got even the way any of us would: He found their jump, hid and waited for the snowboarders to catch the lift, skied to the top of their jump, stopped, dropped his drawers, squatted, and laid a healthy cable. When Oldest Son relayed this story to me, we marveled not at the fact that Buddy would do such a thing, but that he had such convenient command of his bowels.
There’s more that I could tell you about Buddy, but it’s also worth stating that he’s a 4.0 student who's been overheard lecturing Oldest Son about his mediocre study habits and has addressed hundreds of people on Earth Day about stepping up efforts to save the planet. Which is to say, I have a special place in my heart for this 15-year-old-boy whose ears still stick out. Maybe that explains why when he walked in our front door at 6:30 on the dot and began parading up and down our hall banging my pots and pans together…I laughed.
“Good morning! It’s time for the Tour de France!” he yelled.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Then, “Good morning America! It’s TIME TO WAKE UP!”
I could hear giggling from Oldest, Middle, and Youngest Sons’ bedrooms, and Shawn and I hunkered down under the covers, hoping the kids would get up and let us sleep. No such luck. After two more failed wake up calls staged five minutes apart, I could hear Buddy helping himself to milk and cereal, then walk into our bedroom and ceremoniously place the bowl on Shawn’s chest.
“Good morning, Buddy,” Shawn conceded.
“Well hi,” he said with that great big smile that makes his ears look even more like Dumbo.
That’s when I realized sleep was a lost cause, and groggily made my way to the kitchen. Buddy followed me and said, “I’m still pretty sleepy too. Would you mind making me some coffee?”
“You shouldn’t be drinking coffee at your age. When did you start drinking coffee, Buddy?” I asked.
“Last year,” he replied. “I took a zero-period class so I can graduate early.”
So I did what any mom who wants to know her kids’ friends would do: I made us both a cup of coffee at 6:55 a.m., and sat down for a little family and friend bonding time while watching The Bore.
Reader Comments (2)
Wow, I don't know who the heck that crazy buddy kid is, but he sure sounds like a big piece of work. I'm surprised Shawn didn't set him strait that morning at 6:00.
What a funny kid. I have never really thought of Dumbo ears. I guess they show up with a buzz cut. You sure are lucky to have such a hilarious kid join your family. I sure enjoy my 'third' son.